A Lemon

Isn't it so frustrating when your car seems to break down on a monthly schedule? Going for a drive can be stressful because your not sure what that rattling noise is, or why the check engine light is always on. After awhile though, you don't notice the warning light, and you have a habit of turning the radio up to hide the unnatural sounds. But sooner or later something breaks. Some poor forgotten part has done it's best at holding things together and suddenly it's not there anymore. You have hot air blowing at you in the middle of summer, you have tires flying off and rolling ahead of you, you have sharp rusty edges to deal with.

No, we haven't had car trouble...recently. I'm talking about me.

My problems are not huge, and for the most part I handle them pretty well. I ignore where I can, or busy myself with other things to change my focus. But every now and then something breaks. Some part that holds my negativity and pride and selfishness at bay will snap under stress and I am left feeling the full weight of my load. I ask that useless question, "Why?". Why can't I have what I want...now? Why do I have the same problems over and over again? Why is it that when my hands are full something always falls, and it's usually the keys? If I'm supposed to be making lemonade out of life trials, why do I keep running out of sugar?

Maybe these are the wrong questions. Probably those are the wrong questions. They don't make me feel better so, ya, wrong questions. What broke? What part of my life do I need to repair, or replace, so that I can continue in sanity? What would my mechanic, Heavenly Father, suggest? How can I build up my stores of sugar? These questions are more helpful.

I think some "routine maintenance" is certainly required, and help from a loving husband is always recommended. Even though I have these moments of breakdown I realize that I wouldn't trade this "old car" for anything. With a little bit of work and allot of faith I can feel better than ever. My life can be better than ever