My Burden is Light

Matthew 11:28-30

 28 ¶^aCome unto me, all ye that ^blabour and are heavy laden, and I will give you ^crest.

 29 Take my ^ayoke upon you, and ^blearn of me; for I am ^cmeek and ^dlowly in ^eheart: and ye shall find ^frest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is ^aeasy, and my burden is light.

 This scripture has been on my mind lately. Mostly the part where He tells me His yoke is easy. And I ponder on why I feel so overwhelmed at times. If I honestly feel like I am working to fulfill righteous callings, (and I do), then why are some moments so heavy? These are the times I need to change my focus and remember what the other verses tell me.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

I tend to see, and take account of the labor part of my life way too much. So of course it begins to be a huge weight over me! Motherhood, family relationships, personal study and righteousness, homeschool, housekeeping, callings in church, all together it can be a frightening load. They are good, they are necessary, but they are not the first thing. The first thing is to go to my Savior. By accepting His invitation, "Come unto me", everything else will fall into it's proper place. The "rest" that He offers will come, through peace of mind if not by physical stillness. 

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek

 and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."

   Again, it asks - turn to the Lord. Follow Him, learn humility from Him. His life was filled with ordinary, but lived in such a way to turn it all into miraculous. Faith, love, patience, endurance, joy. I'm tired from laundry and dishes, cooking, cleaning, ending sibling arguments over and over again, years of interrupted sleep, and time that just isn't enough. Yet there are moments when I am in the right spot. When the day feels like service instead of labor, when every small and often repeated effort is an outpouring of love. Love for my family, love for my Savior. All that love is really very energizing and refreshing.

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"

Why do I feel so overwhelmed at times? ... It's been good for me to consider and ponder these scriptures. My daily activities and responsibilities don't really change. That housework and mothering just have to be done. But when I change focus to my Savior, the beauty and joy in every task can be found. And some things that I thought were important turn out to not be. Turning our hearts to the Savior may not change our physical environment, but it can certainly change us. Make us stronger, give us the wisdom and understanding we need, bring peace and rest to our souls that we never thought possible. A General Conference talk by Elder Cook wraps this up nicely:

"We earnestly hope and pray for universal peace, but it is as individuals and families that we achieve the kind of peace that is the promised reward of righteousness. This peace is a promised gift of the Savior’s mission and atoning sacrifice.

This principle is succinctly captured in the Doctrine and Covenants: “But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.”¹⁴

President John Taylor taught that peace is not only desirable, but “it is the gift of God.”¹⁵

The peace to which I am referring is not just a temporary tranquility. It is an abiding deep happiness and spiritual contentment.¹⁶

President Heber J. Grant described the Savior’s peace this way: “His peace will ease our suffering, bind up our broken hearts, blot out our hates, engender in our breasts a love of fellow men that will suffuse our souls with calm and happiness.”"

  

Me at 30....

I turned 30 on the 17th. Pretty much I look the same! My sister in law was so good to give me a birthday haircut and she did an awesome job! It's taken me awhile to get used to short hair again but I like what it's teaching me. The main thing being that I need to spend some time on myself. It's quick to fix, but really does NEED the fixing! So, I'm finally learning to do my hair! Nothing fancy yet but I'm getting there, I even bought a flat iron! (because my hair isn't straight enough - ha!). 

But really, 30. My main concern has been my physical appearance - thus the haircut. I've also been buying some clothes here and there because I haven't put any thought into my wardrobe for over 7 years - it's about time! And the big b-day present I picked out was exercise DVDs! I'm basically tired of being fat and frumpy. So here's to a year of getting fit and healthy (and well dressed) for the rest of my life!

Yep, yep, Yep!

I randomly came across this awhile ago, and took the time to re-find it, because it's hilarious! And oh so true. Right now I'm the cranky, 9 months pregnant momma! And I look forward to sleep deprivation and crazy, guilt-ridden thoughts! Seriously, I'm ready for the change! And oh so grateful for Heavenly Fathers understanding of what mothers go through with a new baby, and the strength He gives us.

Oh Fall! I love you!

photo credit

Seriously, this is my favorite time of year. The weather is perfect, the colors are beautiful, and the holidays are right around the corner! I want to do so much to celebrate the season - apple orchards, pumpkin patches, fall decor, HALLOWEEN! But I will have to put most of it on the back burner to simmer for next year. Because this year I will be busy loving on a new little baby! I'm not gonna lie, I am super uncomfortable and more tired than I think I should be. But I know it is all worth it, I'm excited to hold our baby boy!

Subservient? ... Really!?

 I'm finding myself quite annoyed with a misconception held by one of my husbands co-workers...and possibly allot of other people in the world. Because I spend my time taking care of the kids while dad gets a few extra hours of sleep (he works second shift), making home-cooked meals, and other "menial" tasks the said co-worker thinks of me as "subservient".

Here's a definition for you:  Subservient - useful in an inferior capacity : subordinate

Okay, I just lost all my steam for this subject. Honestly, I was all ready to rant a rave on how I'm a homemaker by choice, and I like it! But now I just feel sorry for him, and anyone else with this misconception. Maybe especially for women who feel that caring for their family is "inferior" to any paying job that someone else may have. My husband tried to explain to his friend that I am not subservient. That we work together and help each other because that's what you do when you love someone. He had no response to that. Again, sadness. Are there really people out there who don't have that kind of loving relationship with their own families?! Of course the answer is yes, I know that. And I know everyone has their own problems in their own situations. I guess I just wish people wouldn't label me (and all homemakers) with such negative connotations.

While my wonderful husband goes to work to support us I stay home to take care of and teach our children, make sure we all have food to eat and clean clothes to wear. I clean floors, the bathroom, get rid of cobwebs, wash dishes over and over and over again, and occasionally I even wash the windows. Sometimes I get burnt out by it all and need a break, but do I ever feel that the work I do is inferior or subservient? No. For the most part I love it! I love spending time with my kids and creating a clean and relaxed atmosphere in our home, where we can all feel safe and happy. I am so happy to help and, dare I say, serve the people I love! How enlightening and uplifting to know and feel that our marriage is one of equal partnership. We each have our different responsibilities but they are equally important as we work together to teach, nurture, and protect our family. I freely choose this life of mine, and I think it is of the greatest importance. 

Random

All evening I had some extra company in the kitchen.

He had an accident today and needed some gluing, and then a rest as he dried. This little dollar store figure has been with us for quite awhile. Lots of tears were shed over his brokenness, but I think he'll pull through.







The other day I saw a commercial (for what? I don't know) where a husband asks his wife "Can I quite my job and start a blog?". I thought it was hilarious! I haven't been very good at this blog thing lately. At first it was because I was so sick and tired, now I'm mostly just tired. Yesterday at church someone asked how I was and my mind went blank as I stared at her. "You look tired", she said. Yup, that's it. I'm going to practice some positive responses this week so I'll be ready when asked how I'm doing - "Great! I actually got some laundry done this week!", I'll have to work on it.

I spend allot of time in the kitchen. Today's dinner was Salisbury steak with a mushroom bbq sauce, mashed potatoes (mixed with cauliflower because my kids might eat it and get and extra veggie, plus it tastes great!), and sauteed green beans and broccoli. What did we actually eat most of the night? Homemade apple fritters of course! Really, all of this constitutes as what my husband calls "Too much". But I was thinking out loud and my little boy was so excited when he heard "donuts". So the kids helped me make it. They like helping me put all the ingredients together whenever I bake, it's cramped and we make a mess, but I like it. Also, I have realized that cooking (mostly baking) has become my hobby, or even a therapy of sorts. When I'm feeling down I make something yummy and the whole process of creating it lifts my spirits. When I'm happy I feel like making something to celebrate! Kitchen science really interests me too. Learning the "whys" and "hows" of it is pretty cool. But I find that even in this I need to find balance. We have our pizza nights, or even cereal nights!

I've been having allot of heartburn lately. Our baby must be growing his hair! It makes me excited to see what he will look like. My little boy actually had some heartburn the other day (too much sugar!), he calls it "the bad spits".  

Anyway, I actually have quite a few things to post about, and would like to get back into a 'blogging groove'. I like to blog.... But this is it for tonight!

Yucky Dinners Really Get Me Down

Doesn't that just look gross?! Awhile ago I made a roast chicken and gave my 4 year old a chicken leg and he loved it! He actually said "This is the best dinner ever!". Usually he tells me dinner is gross and he doesn't like it, even though he hasn't tried it yet. So in an effort to make him happy about dinner again I bought a whole pack of legs and stuck them in the oven. My mistake was to put some Italian dressing over them, instead of just salt and peppering them. Oh the smell! Thankfully the meat tasted normal but anything in the "juice" was just awful!

Eating it off the bone was making me sick too. Some of my repulsion is due to being pregnant, but I think the bulk of it stems from college. When it comes to handling chicken on the bone my cadaver course ruined me. Sure, it was a great experience. And lets face it, not many people get to say they dissected a human body before. But the memories of that experience flood me whenever I prepare roast chicken, or something like the grossness above.

So, did my 4 year old appreciate the drumsticks? First he made his usual "dinner is gross" comment, but he did pick it up once or twice for a bite. I couldn't make him eat more than that since I was pretty much disgusted by it myself.

Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy....

 I have never had a problem with this. Going to stores, out to the theater, whatever, it just doesn't tempt me. I have no problem with going to church, visiting with family or friends, taking a nap.

But lately I've been having trouble with my feelings toward Sundays. Our meeting starts at 1 p.m., which means we have to wake the kids up from their nap or they don't have one at all. We're always late. Then we try hard to keep the cranky kids reverent during an hour of people speaking on Gospel topics. Honestly, I have not been able to pay attention to these talks (and thus be spiritually moved by them), for a good 3 or 4 years. I reconciled myself on that point awhile ago, going to church is what Heavenly Father wants us to do, it's important, and we are teaching that to our kids, one rowdy Sunday after another. One day our kids will sit quietly through the whole hour, not needing any other form of entertainment in order to keep them from screaming and running for the exit. Right?

First hour is over and we're off to our separate classes. Breath easy? Nope! My husband and I teach 6 of the 12 "Sunbeams". These are kids in the 3-4 age range, who are brand new to Primary. We spend the next hour repeating things like "keep your hands to yourself", "You should come back and sit in your chair", "shhh, listen. Let's sing this song", and occasionally I tell them "I want my mommy too". We also do allot of running around with potty breaks, or literally to chase a child back into their seats. All with the greatest love and care of course.

The last hour. A little more relaxing with just us teachers and the kids. But they're bouncing off the walls, too loud to talk over, and you know they will never really remember what you're trying to teach. A few times I tried to be really prepared with the lesson, but I learned that the kids pay the same amount of attention (which isn't much) whether you spent hours preparing or just 10 minutes. The time drags on because you've run out things to do, but finally it's over.

So, the past 3 or 4 months of Sundays have basically been 3 hours of babysitting. And I'm pretty sure it will be this way for awhile. I've been quite disgruntled over it. I still am I guess. Maybe it's because I have this silly notion that Sundays, going to church, should somehow refuel my spiritual tanks and prepare me to face the next week of exhausting, never-ending, parenting. Hopefully with patience and joy and understanding. I realize that's allot to expect from 3 hours once a week. Especially when it's really my job to do that every day. Fill my oil lamp one drop at a time, as much as I can, whenever I can, my whole entire life. See? I know that. In fact I pretty much always know the answers to such dilemmas (we all do), but it takes awhile for me to acknowledge it. Lets face it, realizing that the problem is yourself, and then working to change that is much harder than just complaining about it. Harder - yes. But also much healthier, and happier.

So I'll try harder throughout my weeks. I actually do pretty good with daily prayer and scripture study, but I'll admit that it feels a little stale and routine. I think I will also try to make Sundays better. I've been "keeping the sabbath" but I've pretty much lost the "holy". It's in there somewhere! I know I have a problem keeping such things on the forefront of my mind but I'm going to try really hard with this one. Luckily Sundays come around quite regularly and so will be a great reminder for me to try and find the "holy" in everyday. One drop at a time. 

Baby steps to Orginaization

Baby steps - small, wobbly, teetering, and sometimes crashing to the floor. My whole adult life I have struggled with thoughts of "simplifying" and "organizing". I say 'thoughts' because I usually just think about it, wonder what it would be like, and feel guilty over my inability to overcome my natural tendencies of disarray. Sometimes I get things into gear and clear out a closet or two, but things never stay...clear. I've decided it's because I have yet to find, or develop, a system that works for me and my family. I spend too much time searching for ideas on the internet, leaving not enough time (or energy) to be creative and implement routines that would actually be helpful. 

So here's just one more thing I'm working on. A little bit at a time. Starting with this cupboard -

My pantry space is pretty much non-existent. I figured I had to just live with this cupboard the way it was, until I could splurge on those nice tiered spice racks, and other clever organizers. But one day I just stared at it all and was inspired to do something like this -

Don't you just love Sharpie markers?! Now I can see pretty much everything we have, with easy access to all. To create a little shelf behind the spices, so I could see and reach the stuff back there, I used an empty spaghetti box! Ha! Green and frugal, I'm feeling pretty good about it. :)

On a self-pitying side note, I have a most miserable and disgusting cold. I know we are on this Earth to experience life and all the sickness and disease that comes with it, but it just seems so unfair when the Momma gets sick

Life on Second Shift

I am so happy! Can I just say that?! Heavenly Father has blessed us so much! It is wonderful to be able to live independently, relying on the Lord and His goodness. He provided a way for my husband to gain sufficient employment through a pretty great company, Boehringer Ingelheim, and though we are by no means well-off financially, we are rich with joy.

For the first 2 months of working here my husband trained on the "first shift", which is the very normal and wonderful schedule of 7a.m. to 3:30p.m.. We thought that might be a tough change from his previous job where he was at work by 4a.m. or sometimes 2a.m., but no. It was so natural! The kids and I had the first part of the day to play, learn, and get things done. Then we would welcome daddy home with shouts and hugs and those moments of happiness where you know everything is fine and dandy.

Of course we knew this was to be short lived, seeing as how the position he was hired for was "second shift". Now he works from 3p.m. to 11:30p.m.. It's been a little more difficult to get used to then I expected...mostly for me. We miss dinner with dad and his goodnight kisses, but we are working to find our new "norm" and trying to see all the pros. Of course it's more money, which is always nice! And we get to play with dad in our happy morning hours. If I don't mention all the cons maybe they'll go away...HA! Honestly, it's hard work and I'm learning allot about myself. Change is a great teacher. In the mean time I'm still happy! Kinks and all - it's our life, we're living it and loving it!

I still find it easy to thank my Heavenly Father every day for His tender mercies, and all the "little things" that bring smiles to our faces. I'm not perfect, and I can whine and complain with the best of them...today's a good day. :)

Oh Banana Cake!

2/3 cup butter 
1 2/3 cup sugar
2 1/2 cup flour
1tsp. baking soda
1 1/4 tsp. baking powder
1tsp. salt
1 1/2 cup mashed bananas (we used 2 bananas - I have no idea how much that measured out to be)
2 eggs
2/3 cup buttermilk (I added some lemon juice to regular milk and let it sit for a few minutes)
2/3 cup walnuts (that would have been great, but we didn't have any)

Mix it all together, beat on high for a couple of minutes, then pour into your prepared pan. We did two nine inch round pans. Bake for 35 minutes or so at 350 degrees. We topped it with cream cheese frosting, Awesome! But I think I'll try a simple glaze the next time around.

So, last week my little "big boy" insisted we make a cake. He had fun helping me with this Banana Cake - because mashing bananas can be very satisfying. It was a good little cake. We ate it for breakfast several times. I'm pretty sure the sugar content is comparable with (dare I say less than?) a bowl of cereal. Despite our tasting it every day it seemed to last forever (around here "forever" in reference to baked goods usually means anything over three days).

Anyway, now that my husband is on the second shift my evenings are pretty lonely. So far I have been catching up on chick flicks, but last night needed something extra. Enter the Banana Cake! Two pieces left, but it wasn't enough. I needed to fry them in butter and sandwich some vanilla ice cream between them. Yup, comforting. Oh Banana Cake! Thank you!

A Sunday Request

Can we please end Church on time? I'm talking sacrament meeting. I'm trying to be better at getting to church on time, especially since I realized my main reason for being late was because I wanted to be! 10 minutes late means 10 less minutes of trying to shush and contain my kids until the blessed time for Nursery comes! I am trying to be better and it feels like Heavenly Father and I have a deal of some kind. I get us there on time and He helps me with the kids. (Can I just say here that it will be LOVELY when my husband has a job with normal hours!!!). It works for the most part, the kids are getting better, but when the hour mark comes around we're all ready for something different.
So now I guess my next self improvement is to be patient with the speakers that go 5...10 minutes over.... I wonder that they don't notice the considerable rise in children whining, crying and generally being loud. The agitated parents raising their eyebrows, tapping their feet, desperately holding a wiggling child. Or how about the mother there with 2 kids to watch all by herself - standing in the back, plain to be seen and heard, with the crying girl, while the boy decides to go lean on the dividers in the back. Mother races to the boy, hoping to be spared from the embarrassment of dividers falling! Obviously shouting for the person speaking to 'sit down for pity sake' is unacceptable - but I want to soooo bad! I have seriously given thought to bringing a big poster to hold up when it's time. I always sit in the back anyway, it wouldn't be very noticeable, but I am sure it would be much appreciated! Yes, a 'sit down' prompt may be just what we need.
Is there a better way? Does anyone have a sure fire way of keeping there kids reverent and entertained for those overflowing minutes that seem like hours? Is this not an issue with anyone else? Am I just impatient?

Today's Lesson

I always think I get more out of lessons than the Young Women do! Every Sunday I have some kind of "aha" moment, where things click and I understand a small portion of what Heavenly Father is trying to teach me. Today I realized that my whole life has been a turning to the Lord, a changing of my heart, so that when I SAY, "I want what my Savior wants for my life, His will be done", I actually MEAN IT!

I continue to change and turn every day, and there's another part of the lesson, another piece clicking in my heart, "becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." How do we do ALL this!?! Just as children live. They are totally present for every moment, their life really is one day at a time. What does the Lord want me to do TODAY? What does He want for my life TODAY? Of course we need to plan, think, and prepare for the future, but let's not forget that the road to our future is paved with our daily actions.

Straight out of the Young Women Manual -  

President David O. McKay described an experience he had that helped him understand how important it is to have your heart and life changed:

“I … fell asleep, and beheld in vision something infinitely sublime. In the distance I beheld a beautiful white city. Though far away, yet I seemed to realize that trees with luscious fruit, shrubbery with gorgeously-tinted leaves, and flowers in perfect bloom abounded everywhere. The clear sky above seemed to reflect these beautiful shades of color. I then saw a great concourse of people approaching the city. Each one wore a white flowing robe, and a white headdress. Instantly my attention seemed centered upon their Leader, and though I could see only the profile of his features and his body, I recognized him at once as my Savior! The tint and radiance of his countenance were glorious to behold! There was a peace about him which seemed sublime—it was divine!

“The city, I understood, was his. It was the City Eternal; and the people following him were to abide there in peace and eternal happiness.

“But who were they?

“As if the Savior read my thoughts, he answered by pointing to a semicircle that then appeared above them, and on which were written in gold the words:

“‘These Are They Who Have Overcome The World—Who Have Truly Been Born Again!’”

(Cherished Experiences from the Writings of President David O. McKay, comp. Clare Middlemiss [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1965], p. 102).

Lesson Application

Suggest that the young women read Mosiah chapters 2 through 5 so that they can better understand what it means to have a change of heart.

A Pearl

I've been meaning (for a long time now) to put some things in writing. Memories, thoughts, lessons learned. With a little help of a Readers Digest contest I'm starting the process of recording! I don't usually (as in ever!) do this kind of thing, but my mom suggested it and she's a smart cookie so I tend to listen to her. Plus I'm feeling lucky!
I wanted to post my "story" here first though, and if you feel so inclined to vote for me that would be lovely. :)

'I was the awkward "tween". The day had been hot and sticky and I wondered out loud if I should bathe before an evening activity. My mother quickly answered with some very good advice, "When in doubt, take a shower". I don't think she realized it, but she gave me some of the best words to live by. I have used them countless times, and in many different situations.

Do I eat the cookie, or the apple? Do I spend money now, or wait for what I really want? Do I stay home, or spend some time with a friend? Do I sit on the couch, or do I get up and play with the kids? "When in doubt, take a shower" translates to 'When in doubt, just do it!'.

By following this advice I have lived a more full and beautiful life. I have made some of my best decisions and learned some of my greatest lessons. I look forward to more goodness as I remember what mother told me so long ago, "When in doubt, take a shower."'

A new Hair-Do

Because I have no idea how to "fix" my hair I have decided to learn a new hair-do each month. Learn it and PRACTICE it so I will actually know what I'm doing. So here's my first one! "The Fancy Half Up", easy enough for me to do, but still looks pretty.

Simple Pleasures

What brings me simple pleasure? I'm being totally honest - here's the first thing that popped in my head --

Comments!

 Join Cocoa for more simple pleasures.

There Once Was A Girl...

"There once was a girl

Who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good

She was very very good

But when she was bad she was horrid."

I don't know who actually wrote this. I want to say Mother Goose. One day, when I was little (maybe 10), I noticed a curl. This was strange for me because my pin straight hair never curled for anyone, and yet there it was, right in the middle of my forehead. I was so happy about it! Of course I showed it to my mother and she immediately quoted the above Nursery Rhyme. I loved it even better! I had a poem to go with my curl! Of course I didn't like to think that I could ever be "horrid". I wondered what "horrid" would look like. Mostly I pictured screaming and whining and stomping feet. 

Time passed. Some days my curl would visit, but mostly things stayed straight. I decided that when the curl appeared it was giving me permission to be "horrid". One curly day I tried to think of what to do - that lasted all of 30 seconds! It was way to much work to try and think up ways to be mean, nasty, and horrid! I just went ahead as usual, no screaming, no whining, no stomping feet. After that I decided I wanted to be more like the "very very good" part, and left it at that.

More time passed, years and years. The curl came back every now and then but never stayed for long. This year is different. My curl seems to be visiting for an extended vacation. What is going on?! One spot of frizzy curl, standing out for all to see! It will be interesting to see how long his lasts.

Progression

...and always unfinished.

EGGS!

I love eggs. Really, I think they are amazing. So yummy, and so beautiful! Just look at those babies! Egg coloring is my favorite activity of Easter. You get to sit there, dunk a wonderfully white egg in some fantastic color and "bam!"! A masterpiece! Every year I think, "why don't I do this more often?". Having festive, colorful eggs in the fridge should be a more-than-once-a-year occurrence. How can we make this happen? Oh I know! Buy some chickens!

That's what my mom did and it's working for her. She has beautiful blue and brown eggs in her fridge. I'm jealous. 

Another great thing about eggs at Easter? Egg salad sandwiches! At one time I thought it wasn't "cool" to like egg salad sandwiches, but now I just don't care. Bring on the creamy, eggy, wonderfulness!

I guess my 10 minutes are up, that went by fast! And I have shared nothing of great importance, but it was fun. And look at this!

That's a duck egg. Weird, right!?!

For more Wordfull Wednesday randomness check this out.

Baking Up Some Happiness

I have decided that it is very important to keep the cookie jar full. It makes me HAPPY!!!