Unexpected

Today's Wordfull Wednesday topic:

"One thing I've learned from motherhood that I never expected to learn."

It's a matter of strength. Growing up I had a relatively easy life. I was never confronted with anything that tried and tested my own convictions and ideals. Now...I have learned (and continue to learn) what I'm made of. 

I want what's best for my children, and if that means suffering through a year of painful nursing, so be it.

If that means dragging them to church every Sunday for 3 hours, smack in the middle of nap-time, so be it.

If I have to say "No" fifty times when it would be easier to say "yes", so be it.

I have "broken down" quite a few times in these past three years and have thus learned more about how to pick myself up, dust off, and try again than I ever thought possible. When I stop to think about it, I'm pretty impressive! Am I boasting? It might seem that way, if I were to stop here. But you see, there's another side to this coin.

It's a matter of weakness. Growing up I had a relatively easy life. Whatever weaknesses and challenges I had seem trivial as I look back. Now...I have learned (and continue to learn) that I need help.

I want the best for my children, and that means I need help and guidance from a far higher power.

That means I pray harder than I've ever prayed before.

That means I throw all MY plans and expectations out and follow HIS perfect way for me and my family. 

As a mother I have experienced more feelings of fear and incompetence than I ever expected. But as I turn to the Lord he fills me with faith, love, courage, and strength. More than I can ever comprehend!

As Ammon testifies in Alma 25, so it is with me:

"I do not boast in my own strength,

nor in my own wisdom; but behold,

my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim 

with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

Yea, I know that I am nothing;

as to my strength I am weak; therefore

I will not boast of myself, 

but I will boast of my God, for in his

strength I can do all things."

EGGS!

I love eggs. Really, I think they are amazing. So yummy, and so beautiful! Just look at those babies! Egg coloring is my favorite activity of Easter. You get to sit there, dunk a wonderfully white egg in some fantastic color and "bam!"! A masterpiece! Every year I think, "why don't I do this more often?". Having festive, colorful eggs in the fridge should be a more-than-once-a-year occurrence. How can we make this happen? Oh I know! Buy some chickens!

That's what my mom did and it's working for her. She has beautiful blue and brown eggs in her fridge. I'm jealous. 

Another great thing about eggs at Easter? Egg salad sandwiches! At one time I thought it wasn't "cool" to like egg salad sandwiches, but now I just don't care. Bring on the creamy, eggy, wonderfulness!

I guess my 10 minutes are up, that went by fast! And I have shared nothing of great importance, but it was fun. And look at this!

That's a duck egg. Weird, right!?!

For more Wordfull Wednesday randomness check this out.

A Thing of Beauty

Happy Wordfull Wednesday everyone! Today on Coco's blog we are sharing some thoughts on beauty. Here's my contribution.

The beauty in this picture? Big brother is feeding little sister breakfast. Of course he was making the "aaawww" sound with his mouth wide open as he brought the spoon up for her! He is so helpful and they just love to play with each other and be together. This has been a huge beauty in my life - watching them play and share and develop their personalities.

Wordfull Wednesday!

My Favorite Childhood Book

My first chapter book and I still love it! I've been an animal lover from the very beginning, and I think the whole farm scene really held my interest. I remember being fascinated by the description of "slop". It was somehow beautiful! And of course the story of friendship is unbeatable. To see that someone so small could care so much, and really make such a huge difference in someone's life was amazing to me. 

And I cried at the end! My first 'book induced cry'! No wonder I'm so fond of it! 

...I better go read it again...

Wordfull Wednesday - Service for Others

Service for others - Are there certain ways your family serves those around you? How do you teach your children to look beyond themselves to serve others? "Parents have a sacred duty to teach [their children] to love and serve one another" (Family Proclamation, paragraph 6) -from Chocolate on my Cranium

Service is something I think about regularly, but have a hard time actually DOING. "Service" usually brings to my mind projects like planting your neighbors garden, baking cookies to give away, doing laundry for a sick and/or tired friend. You know,  all those big and wonderful, things that I just can't do but still feel guilty for not doing them. However, my view of what service is has been evolving.

It has taken me awhile to realize that taking care of my own children really is a great service. Sometimes, as I changed diapers, I would fantasize about doing a "more beautiful" service, such as those mentioned above. Something where people could really see me in action and know how good I was. Oh no, I'm not prideful....

With over two years of diaper changing (and other things) under my belt a more subtle and real meaning of service is being cemented into my brain. First of all there really is a time and season to everything. Those 'grand' service projects will have to wait a few more years. Right now I'm a little busy with the every day nurture of motherhood. I am really beginning to see how small acts of service, cleaning hands, kissing cheeks, playing pretend, can make a huge difference. I am so grateful to be learning these lessons so I can pass them on to my children as they grow and develop. Even now, I am surprised by how much my little boy picks up from my example. He loves to help clean up (sometimes), he is gentle with his sister (most of the time), he watches what I do (all the time).

A Mother's Role

Mother's Role in a Family  "By divine design...Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."  (Family Proclamation, paragraph 7)

Such a simple statement. So true and also so frightening! As a relatively new mother of 2 I have recently experienced a few panic attacks over this thought. What a great responsibility! ("great" meaning huge and somewhat overwhelming). A large amount of what these little people grow up to think and to do will depend on what they learn from me and my example.

Can I do this?! Can I teach them patience when my own is so often worn thin? Can I show them the importance of the scriptures when all I can manage to read in a day is 2 or 3 verses? Can I help them to live a balanced life when my own is so off kilter?

I take comfort in the fact that I'm not doing this alone. Heavenly Father loves these kids even more than I do and I really feel His guidance and inspiration as I try my best. I guess that's all I can do right? But so often I feel that my "best" isn't good enough. Maybe that's a lesson I have to learn still. Maybe that's the key...maybe my children will benefit more from the lessons I learn than from whatever I think I can teach them. Hmmm, I may be on to something.

Wordfull Wednesday: Nurturing Love and Friendship in Marriage

Married with almost 2 children and I think we still have allot to learn on this subject. Catering to the demands of a little one can really take it's toll on the time and energy required to nurture our relationship. Thankfully we have discovered that the smallest of things can make a big difference.

We cuddle during family time, we talk once the little one is in bed, and we always seem to find something to laugh at together. As small as our little "adventures" are right now I think our victory is that we continue through them together, sharing experiences and building memories.

For more on the subject I suggest a visit to Chocolate on my Cranium

Smile!

Happy Wordfull Wednesday! The topic is "Love Songs", more specifically- what is mine and my sweethearts "song".

For some reason I thought every couple had to have "a song", like it was a rule. So I was somewhat disappointed when my husband and I never seemed to have that memorable moment together with some wonderful love song playing in the background. Maybe because we don't really listen to music when we're together...

So I was worrying about how to say "we don't have song" in a more interesting way, but my husband came to the rescue (and he didn't even know that this was on my mind!). The other day he came home from work and said "I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of you". Of course he couldn't remember the name or the artist, but he searched until he found it, and here it is!



Now, I'm not a big Uncle Kracker fan, but this song is pretty much perfect! I think about my husband through the whole thing. How great my life has been with him in it, how I really do smile every time he walks into the room, and how he's my best friend!

We've been married for almost 5 years and we finally have a song that "fits"! Hurray for music that helps us celebrate a life of love and experience!

Dear Mom,

I wonder if you know how amazing you are? Sometimes I think you don't, and maybe that's my fault - I don't tell you often enough. I slip onto the well worn path of 'take-you-for-granted', knowing you will always be there for me somehow. In some conversations I hear you tell me how "old" you are. You point out some physical evidence but it doesn't sink in. To me you are always "Mom", young and beautiful. In my mind's eye I see you as that picture hanging next to your bedroom door. You know, the one that was supposed to be of your kids but they all got sick, so you dressed up and went yourself so as not to waist the appointment. I'm glad you did that.

Out of the six of us I am the most like you. I think I can safely say this because my younger sister and brother have more than once called me "mom" while growing up. I'm glad to be like you. Although I have a long way before I am perfected as beautifully as you. You are so generous and self-sacrificing, always willing to help, always striving to be better, always ready to teach.

Even with 6 kids to raise and keep you busy you tried to carve out some time for you. Whether it was exercise, learning stained glass, trying new recipes, or perfecting your bread making talent, you taught me that balance in life is important. As a new mother I know that time out for 'me' is important and even okay, because of you. You taught me about patience, about forgiveness and repentance, about love. You taught me about faith. You taught me to forgo immediate pleasures in order to obtain the prize at the end of the road. You taught me to clean and to not be afraid of do-it-yourself projects, or any other kind of work. You taught me to enjoy cooking, and how a simple treat can brighten a persons whole day. You taught me many things Mom. I'm so glad you're my teacher.

These days I really enjoy our phone calls. Just to tell each other what we are doing that day, to be updated on other family members, to swap information on "deals" we've found, or even to ask you how to make biscuits! You are always ready to share your time with me and it means allot. I'm glad you're my friend.

You ARE amazing Mom. Smart, witty, funny, beautiful and absolutely lovely! Just ask your kids or your husband. We all know the truth. You are our "super-star", the glue that holds us together. I am more than glad to be your daughter! And I love you!

Am I a Poet?

Another Wordfull Wednesday to challenge my sleeping neurons! I almost didn't attempt but am glad I did. I have thoroughly forgotten anything I ever learned about writing poems (excepting the obvious rule of rhyme of course), so be kind!

"Proud Life"

Life is busy
I try my best
Finish it and take a rest
I'm proud of that

Life is 'Mom'
I love my boy
Every day he brings such joy
I'm proud of that

Life is fun
I work and play
Sometimes whistle on my way
I'm proud of that

Life is hard
I trip and bruise
Step up quickly not to lose
I'm proud of that

Life is great
I exercise
Try for healthy wealthy wise
I'm proud of that

Life is full
I clear my head
Pride before the fall they said
I'll work on that

Oh, to be inspired...

Another wonderful Wordfull Wednesday, hosted by my favorite Chocolateer.

Happily, I gather inspiration from many ports. Usually it comes in small packages, a song, a scripture, a phone call, the infectious chuckle of my little one. I tuck them away in my spiritual belly, to fuel my energy and enthusiasm for the day. Admittedly, my 'feast' and 'famine' days can teeter heavily on one side before tottering back to the other. Balance is most often determined by my own attentions (do I see the mud on the shoes, or the smile on the face?). But I digress. The subject has been smartly narrowed down to a person or scene that inspire me (nothing religiously related, which is the clincher for me!)

My mother came to mind, as well as other mothers. Moms are great, especially mine. :) I was thinking of how great they all are - the work, the tears, the sacrifice, the love, the joy. I was truly being inspired by all the "portraits" of women flashing through my mind and was taken by surprise when my own popped up...huh, interesting. What a fantastic club Motherhood is! Anyway, I will save this subject for the upcoming day which celebrates our wonderfulness.

For now I choose a scene. This scene looks different for everyone, it may even have a distinct smell. The people in it change frequently, but the theme is as vast as it is constant. Rows of shelves are heavy with the burden of knowledge, adventure, imagination. Order reigns supreme, and whisper is the native language. Yes, it's the library.

Perhaps I am twisting the definition of "scene", but I see it clearly, and it brings a certain kind of inspiration to my life.

Wordfull Wednesday: Funny?

The subject for today is simply "funny", anything goes. So appropriate for the first of April!

I have come to a sad realization. I'm not funny. I've been thinking on and off today, about what I would share...still drawing blanks.

I really like to laugh and I seem to do it frequently. I laugh with my husband at some new joke or silly video he's found, we laugh with our little boy because he likes to think he is "in" on the joke. I used to laugh my head off with my sister...not sure why, but we had some good times!

Today I laughed with my mom. We went into a shoe store for some simple black lace-ups that she needed. Of course I had fun picking out more unconventional styles for her. :) There are some funny looking shoes out there!

Wordfull Wednesday: When I learned to read...

Actually, I don't remember when I learned to read. I assume I went through the normal process of being read to at home and learning extra lessons at school. Two memories did surface however, as I tried to grasp the beginnings of my literacy.

First I was in the Centerville, Tennessee elementary school, being ushered into the neighboring classroom for a little reading group. I was upset because this other teacher wasn't as pretty as my teacher, and then I was quickly horrified as I sat in a small circle of my peers...what if I made a mistake!

Now I can barely see over the kitchen table. The dinner mess had been cleared during the short time it took us kids to run for our scriptures and I climbed into my usual chair.

That's about it! I really love to read, but I feel I haven't done enough of it. Like there are so many wonderful classics I missed out on as a child and youth. I seemed to cling to a book when I really liked it, reading it over and over. Carrying them around made me feel smart and important. Black Beauty, and Charlotte's Web, and one book about a boy named Homer who somehow gets a pet skunk, and has something to do with a doughnut shop.

These days I struggle to find a balance between "fun" and "educational" reading. There are so many things I want to learn about, and so many stories I want to get caught up in. I'll get through it all one book at a time I suppose.

I am proud to say that my little boy seems to share my love and fascination with books. At times he doesn't have the patience for the story, but if he can turn the pages to his hearts content and surround himself with all the books he has pulled from the shelf he is a happy little man!

Be good to yourself...

As a fairly new mother I have learned many things, but the lesson I struggle with daily coincides quite nicely with this Wednesdays topic.
It is all together too easy for me to lose myself in the care of my son and the worries that tend to wrap around me. I do fine for the most part but as the days wear on I wear out. It's not pretty! In response I have developed a few of my own coping mechanisms.

• small breaks of "alone time" (I end up in the bathroom for most of these)
• get out of the house (new location = new outlook)
• stay up late (watch a movie, paint my nails, it's MY time!)
• exercise (it helps me feel comfortable with myself)

It seems like a small list of not much, but the really important part of it all is my mind-set. No matter what I am doing I feel so much more fulfilled as a person if I just slow down and claim the experience. "Live in the moment", "be present", not to sound like a broken record but it works for me.

Affection For Others

It was interesting to actually think about how I show affection for others. First I defined "others" as my immediate family-those I am closest to and see on a regular basis. Then I realized that I don't really do much out of the ordinary to express my love to them. The phrase "I love you" can never be worn out and never goes out of style. I know this because I say it more than several times a day and no-one has complained yet. It doesn't phase me at all to kiss my husband in public (within reason of course), and when my little son is in my arms the world is easily tuned out as I attack him with hugs, kisses, monster growls, tickles, or any other form of attention.

Upon further reflection of the subject I decided that another, possibly ordinary, way that I share love is through food-especially desserts and sweets. Affection through confection? Kind of catchy. Anyway, I really enjoy the process of cooking and baking, making it all look pretty and appetizing. But the best part, of course, is to see the finished product meet its end through smiling lips and a chorus of laughter as we relax and devour together.

Nothing wrong with ordinary.

Wishings

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Three wishes that are not likely to come true?
Top of the list would be to wake up one morning and suddenly be rid of my shortcomings, faults, grievances, regrets, and worries. To be free of the bad habits and doubts that it will, in reality, take me years to overcome! That would be a great day! If I could be wonderfully creative and talented that would be fantastic as well.

My second wish would be to have a photographic memory. Actually I would take any improvement on that front. It is so frustrating to know that I have read and studied "things" and can't remember what they were!

Third on a list of many, I would like to write books. Mostly books about family, and me, and maybe some children stories as well. Hopefully they would be interesting enough that my children and posterity wouldn't mind reading them every now and then.

Wishes are wonderful things! They tend to look toward the future without the pressure and possible guilt of "goals". Although I say these things are 'not likely to come true', there's still a chance! Everyday I try a little harder to reach my better self, I continue to read and learn, and I think of my non-existent books quite often.