The Ninth Month

These days I find myself in a stupor more often than not. Getting up is difficult, slow, and sometimes painful, so I sit...and sit. I think about the few things we need to get ready for when our new baby arrives (really there's not much), and I look on in defeat as the mess around me grows.

Some days I have more "umph" and try to do a few things on the list, like today. But then, things happen. For example, as I tried to organize the 'diaper changing station' my little helper was busy trying out the new baby wash and lotion.... After all that work he decided he needed a snack and ended up dumping a whole bag of chips on the floor (honestly, I almost laughed as he sat on the floor eating the chips off his lap saying "Mmmm"). In my attempt to distract him I was going to set up a learning game that he likes on the computer. Of course waiting for the computer to boot up is not fun for an almost 2 year old, so he promptly started pulling things out of the desk drawer.... When he started shaking his sippy cup and getting milk everywhere I decided that I was done with my list for the day. I was allot less stressed after that. Although the building clutter and disarray are really starting to irritate me.

So all of that happened this morning in a matter of about 30 minutes. But it was enough to floor me for the rest of the day, back to my "normal" activity of sitting when I can, napping when he does, and trying to keep him happy with minimal effort. However I did take him to the park today. It was too beautiful of a day not to, and we both really enjoyed it.

Of course while we were there I got a few comments on how I look "ready to pop". And in my opinion I AM ready! Even though I still have 2 weeks (a little less) I am getting more and more impatient! Yes, I really want to see her and have her with us, but honestly I am more impatient to be NOT pregnant! I want to be on the road to recovery! I want to be able to see my toes! I want my hips to be stable and pain free! I want to have my energy back (ha! like that will ever happen)!

I also want to be a mom of 2. It's strange, and somewhat illogical, but I feel like I can be a better mother for both of my babies once this new one arrives. At least I WANT to be a better mother. In my head I see us actually going out to play groups or local activities. I'll be more social, organized, and balanced (Okay, now we know I'm wishfully thinking!). Like I said, it's strange, but I hope it can be true. And I hope I can be more patient...but that I wont have to be patient for long!